The gifts we end up regretting (and how to avoid them)

The gift you end up regretting is almost never one chosen badly for lack of taste. It’s one chosen without enough information about the person, or by listening mostly to your own preferences.

The gift you’d have liked to receive yourself

This is the most common trap: giving what would please us, rather than what would please the person in front of us. A perfume we love, a book we adored, an object we find beautiful. The gift comes from a good place but ignores the recipient’s actual tastes.

Guessed sizes and colours

Clothes, shoes, jewellery: a good number end up unworn because of a wrongly guessed size or colour. The only fix is to ask directly, or rely on precise details left by the person herself, rather than an estimate by eye.

The gadget you’ll never use

‘Practical’ but very specific items — a single-use kitchen gadget, a niche piece of electronics — often end up at the back of a cupboard because they suit a use the person doesn’t really have. An everyday object, just in a version she’d appreciate more, almost always works better than a new gadget she never asked for.

The gift bought in a rush

A last-minute gift often shows the signs of haste: less thought through, chosen from a narrow range, sometimes duplicating what another relative has already given. Planning ahead, even by a few weeks, cuts that risk considerably, just as a well-kept wishlist cuts the risk of guessing wrong.

What you can do once the gift’s been received

A gift that doesn’t suit isn’t set in stone. Exchanging it, passing it on to someone it would suit better, or simply saying so tactfully to whoever gave it: these options exist, and they’re no worse than a polite smile over something you’ll never use.

Every one of these regrets actually follows a recognisable pattern before the purchase even happens: you’re already unsure about the size, you pick something because you like it yourself, you rush because the date’s approaching. Taking two minutes to ask which of these patterns applies to the gift you’re about to choose is often enough to change course in time. It’s not an absolute guarantee, no gift comes with one, but it’s a simple habit that heads off a good deal of drawers filling up with things that never get used.

Common questions