Giving a gift from afar, when you don't live in the same country

Giving to someone who lives abroad complicates things you barely notice at home any more. A different plug socket, a clothing size that doesn't map onto anything in their country, a food item banned from import: what's a simple gift here becomes a logistical headache there.

A parcel isn't always the right answer

Sending a physical item seems like the most natural gesture, but customs fees, delays and the risk of damage often make the experience disappointing for both sides. A parcel that arrives three weeks after the birthday, taxed on arrival, spoils the original intention. That's not always a reason to avoid it, but it's worth weighing against other options.

Buying locally, from where you are

More and more retailers now deliver directly to the recipient's country, without you having to ship anything yourself. It's often the most reliable solution: the product leaves a warehouse close to the person receiving it, without crossing a physical border. The only real problem left is knowing what to order, which brings us back to the basic question: what does this person actually want?

The list as a bridge between two countries

This is where a shared list changes things. On Wishi, the person far away from you can add a want from their own phone, with the link to the site they use in their country, their local size, their own currency. You see their list from yours, and can choose an item that will be deliverable to them without having to guess at conversions. Nobody has to do the translation work on the other's behalf.

Experiences cross borders better

An experience at a distance, like a subscription, a booking or a voucher at a place that also exists in their country, sidesteps the transport problem entirely. It's also a good option when the relationship carries on at a distance: giving a moment that will happen over there, rather than an item that has to travel from here.

• Check whether the retailer delivers directly to the recipient's country.
• Favour a shared list over a parcel sent blind.
• Consider an experience or a local service rather than an object.
• Plan for delays: at a distance, everything takes longer.

None of this replaces actually seeing each other. But a gift that arrives in the right format, on the right date, also says something about the attention paid to the distance itself.

Common questions