What to do with a gift that doesn't suit you

A gift that doesn't suit you isn't a tragedy, but it does raise a real practical question: what do you do with something you'll never wear, never read, never use? Keeping it out of guilt clutters up the place. Getting rid of it straight away can feel harsh. There's a path between the two.

The polite lie has its limits

Saying "it's exactly what I needed" when it isn't is often the first reflex, out of kindness. The trouble comes later: if the person notices you never wear that item or never use it, they'll realise you lied, which damages the trust more than an honest no at the time of the gift would have.

Give it time before deciding

Nothing forces you to decide straight away. An item that doesn't suit you can wait a few weeks in a corner before you decide its fate. That delay also lets you check whether your first judgement holds: some gifts surprise you once you actually use them, others confirm they'll never get any use at all.

The concrete options

After that delay, several solutions exist, depending on the item and your relationship with the person who gave it: passing it on to someone it would suit better, exchanging it if a receipt allows it, selling it second-hand, or simply keeping it for rare occasions without feeling guilty about not using it day to day. None of these options requires explaining to the person concerned what you did with it.

Talking about it, only if it helps going forward

There's no need to bring up a gift that missed the mark afterwards. But if the same person regularly gives you things that never suit you, a light conversation can stop it happening again: not a reproach, just a simple indication of what you actually like. This is where a list kept up to date helps most, as covered in asking for what you really want: it takes the guesswork out of the equation for next time.

• Let a few weeks pass before judging a gift definitively useless.
• Favour giving it away or exchanging it over throwing it out straight away.
• Don't systematically explain what you did with a gift that didn't suit you.
• If it keeps happening, note your wants for next time, without reproach.

A gift that misses the mark doesn't cancel out the intention behind it. It's just a reminder that an unspoken want is, in the end, a guess.

Common questions